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Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal: 0

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Author: Vern
Publisher: Titan Books ltd
Category: Book

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Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

3 reviews
Sales Rank: 22239

Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 352
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1
Dimensions (in): 8.1 x 5.4 x 1.2

ISBN: 1845769279
Dewey Decimal Number: 791
EAN: 9781845769277
ASIN: 1845769279

Publication Date: May 23, 2008
Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days

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Customer Reviews:

4 out of 5 stars

Funny, amusing and strangely thought-provoking July 11, 2008
Vern is the guy who used to write reviews of action movies for Ain't It Cool News, mostly low-budget, direct-to-video/DVD stuff that most people wouldn't touch with a bargepole. Whilst writing these reviews he'd engender a lot of debate and flamewars with one exception: the movies of Steven Seagal. It turned out that there are many fans of the Seagal out there, people who watch his movies religiously, drink cans of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt (his own energy drink) and listen to his albums whilst analysing the themes and motifs of his work. And some of them weren't being all cool and ironic. Fascinated, Vern set out on a mission to watch and review all of Seagal's movies. This proved difficult, as Seagal was entering his most prolific period to date. However, with his next couple of pictures delayed, Vern was finally able to catch up and write a book about his experiences.

This is a very good book. It's genuinely funny, interesting and, in its own way, incredibly barmy. Vern isn't writing serious film criticism here but he's also not taking the mickey either. He obviously respects Seagal (and given how many people he's thrown through windows over the years this is probably a good thing) and is genuinely interested in what makes his films tick.

An early discovery is that Seagal is a left-wing action star, which immediately puts him in a different boat to Schwarznegger, Stallone etc. His films usually don't portray America in the best light, and the most common theme between them is how corrupt the CIA can be and how the US' own developments in areas like WMDs are not really helping make the world a safer place. By analysing the motifs that repeat themselves in every single movie, Vern draws some interesting conclusions.

Most of the book is taken up by a film-by-film analysis of his works. There are 27 movies here, ranging from the very-well-known action flick Under Siege to the debacle that is Submerged. Vern clearly loves the early movies, when Seagal is younger, does all his own stunts and the plots are pretty straightforward, generally a variation on the "Bad guy killed his partner/wife or kidnapped his daughter/pen-pal and he has to sort it out," set-up. The first movie or two are generic action flicks enlivened by Seagal's slightly unorthodox fighting abilities, but very quickly we start seeing some of Seagal's iconic touches coming in as he becomes able to exert influence on the movie's direction. He starts wearing some rididculous outfits, gets a ponytail, and delivers message about karma. Vern points to On Deadly Ground as being a vital point in Seagal's movie development, namely the legendary bar fight scene where, having defeated his goons, Seagal suddenly neutralises the bad guy by playing a weird game with him and then engaging him in a debate about if it is possible to change the essence of a man whilst stirring, epic music plays in the background.

From then on, it's insanity all the way as Seagal stops some villains from blowing up a petrol station with a stick of dynamite by shooting the burning fuse off the dynamite whilst it's tumbling in mid-air, saves the USA from a horrific virus by spraying the countryside with flowers from a helicopter and travels across the planet to save his teenage pen-pal after he's sold into white slavery, even though Seagal hasn't actually been told this and just guesses randomly that something is up. Along the way, he plays cops, ex-CIA agents, ex-Navy SEAL chefs, and a respected expert in Chinese archaeology serving at Yale (but who actually turns out to be the male, retired version of Lara Croft). He fights the mafia, yakuza, corrupt government agents, drug-dealers and bent cops with guns, martial arts, swords, a snooker ball wrapped in a handkerchief and, on one bizarre occasion, a credit card. He throws dozens of people through windows and narrowly avoids enormous explosions on countless occasions. On one occasion he even dies, which is rather jarring.

You also find out more information than you ever needed to know about the formulation of energy drinks and Steven Seagal's musical career. I must admit I found the revelation of his musical background to be pretty cringe-inducing, but a quick trip to YouTube reveals that Seagal is a surprisingly accomplished guitarist, although his vocal range is limited. He even has a few decent reggae, funk and blues songs up there. I mean, Jimmy Cliff doesn't need to start worrying about the competition, but it's light-years beyond most actor-turned-musician projects (Dogstar comes immediately to mind).

Vern's central thesis, that Seagal is an auteur film-maker who imprints all his movies, even the ones not written specifically for him, with his own interests and unique sensibility in a way that Chuck Norris or Jean-Claude Van Damme do not, is hard to refute. This is partially what makes the book a success. The other part is that it is absolutely hilarious. Whenever Vern seems to be getting a bit too serious about his ideological analysis of the politics of the films or something, he'll drop in a casual comment or train of thought that will leave you giggling like a fool. By the time you reach the end of the book you can't help but agree with Vern that there is something interesting going on with some of these movies beyond a surface reading.

Complaints? Well, if reading a book makes you want to go and watch Attack Force or Submerged, it's probably not an entirely good thing. Also, the later DTV movies tend to blur into one and it's rather hard at times to care enough about some random awful film you're never going to watch to read a ten-page analysis of it, but Vern ususally drops in enough interesting analysis or comedy to make it all worthwhile.

4 out of 5 stars

A gem of its kind ! June 29, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful

I love this book !

OK, no-one's going to pretend that Seagal is Laurence Olivier, but 'Vern' treats his subject in just the right way. He's obviously a true fan but this book is no gushing, uncritical fan-job as so many of this type are. He makes a compelling case for Seagal's work while at the same time making many, very funny, asides about the 'action movie' genre. I literally laughed-out-loud throughout.
If you've ever enjoyed a Seagal movie, then do buy this book. At the very least, it will make you want to scour the DVD racks for more Seagal movies ; and that, to me, is the sure sign of a good book of criticism.
( Only four stars ? Well, that's only because there are no pictures which is understandable in that it's an 'unauthorized' work. So don't be put off....)

5 out of 5 stars

Intriguing, thought provoking and worth your time June 26, 2008
2 out of 3 found this review helpful

This could be a ground-breaking book.

Usually in a book with a subject like this the reader would expect one of two things - either predominantly fawning and uncritical adulation peppered with the occasional swipe at safe targets ala the tomes of Telos that cover the recent seasons of the returned Dr Who - or wholesale emasculation of the works considered and their dissection for comedic purposes, the sort of thing the Medved brothers made their name doing.

Vern does neither, and instead finds an intriguing way of reflecting on a genre that actually, surprisingly, may have much to reveal both about the way cinema and celebrity function in the modern age. Writers to come could learn much from this manner of study, one that is respectful of the film-makers' intentions and the audiences responses - or non-responses - to these and we might learn a few things along the way. It helps that Vern can also write extremely well, has an eye for a decent joke or two and an understanding of the modern age that allows him to draw conclusions that surprise, delight and inform.

What do we learn from this book ?

Well, that there is more to Seagal than just another dumb action movie star. Vern makes a pitch in his opening for ascribing auteur status to the man, an assertion that initially strikes one as either tongue-in-cheek to the point of incomprehension, taking the mickey out of the reader or misplaced adulation. Yet in his quiet, analytical way Vern demonstrates that he has a point - like many an auteur Seagal has themes and memes that carry through from one film to the next, and where they haven't been present has gone to some lengths as writer, director or actor to introduce them. Moreover Seagal appears to have come to the screen already fully formed, no working his way up for him but immediately launched in a vehicle for his talents - Nico -Above the Law - that's suggests that someone, somewhere, must have felt the man had something to say worth hearing. Subsequent success suggests that in the late 80s and early 90s, people wanted to hear it.

We are used to the idea of the action heroes as ubermenschen - arrogant, opinionated, always in, and politically on, the right. Seagal, Vern shows, is that rare thing - a left-wing action star. Repeated themes he finds in the films are the corruption and incompetence of intelligence agencies, the dangers of turning a blind eye to the environment, violence as a tool that when utilized should be deployed quickly, efficiently and without undue flash or adulation and never as a solution in and of itself, and a quiet asceticism that makes his hero something of a Renaissance man. This latter is a particularly strange thought, but Vern shows us the evidence, presents his own conclusions and also allows that we have the intelligence to draw our own. Seagal deliberately set out to impart his philosophies to his audiences - and that is what auteurs do, surely ?

This is no dry, academic tome however. It is also very funny, warm, enlightening and entertaining. It's a book to carry onto the plane - for who knows what the in-flight movie may be ? - or to read in the bath or you'll annoy close friends and relatives by reading the best bits aloud. It is that good.

So come to mock by all means - but stay to learn and enjoy. And since that's the essence of Steven Seagal's own philosophy of cinema, from what I gather here, this is a book that does the man proud.