House of Tiny Tearaways

Well, let's put my cards on the table. I'm a social worker. I've seen some brutal, incompetent, and appallingly abusive child care in my time. I've worked with many people who have been traumatised and who daily struggle to come to terms with life because their childhoods were such nightmares. I've also been a parent - I've been a house-husband, I've coped with the ups and the downs of trying to figure out how to handle each new situation … you win some, you lose some, and no, there are very seldom any 'right' answers, just an approach which works, and survival till the end of the day.

We live in a society in which we're rarely taught how to be parents - each of us has to cope alone (or at least in partnership with the mother / father). It's terrifying, it's exciting, it's exhausting, it's rewarding, it'll cost you a fortune. And people will judge you. Other parents - strangers at nursery and school. People who pass your wailing brat in the street or supermarket. You know exactly where I'm coming from! My daughter, at the doctor's surgery, pointing at a large lady opposite and saying, "Why is that lady so fat, daddy? Why is she so fat? Why? Daddy?" The term 'justifiable homicide' is a daily perspective in parenting.

So does this book make the process any easier? No more so than most good books on the subject. Give your kids love. Be consistent. Be firm - make sure they understand the boundaries. Accept they'll make mistakes … give them opportunities to make mistakes, to experiment, to take risks, to learn. Don't suffocate them, don't be overprotective, don't feel pressurised to keep up with friends and neighbours, let your kids become individuals. And study the subject. Have a read at some decent books on childcare and parenting. Try to appreciate how exhausting and demanding parenting is and don't beat yourself up if you're not perfect. No one is, not even Tanya Byron.

Tanya Byron is an experienced, professional psychologist. She offers a very credible book on how to look after your children. If it's a book which owes its marketing success to the power of television rather than to any radical or revolutionary way to guarantee 'success' in parenting, well, that's the nature of modern life. Skills in parenting have become a commodity to be marketed, bought, and sold.

This is a perfectly adequate book on child care and parenting - don't just leave it on the coffee table, read it. Don't assume it contains all the answers - oh, the little brat's having a tantrum, the answer is on page xx. Use it to help you think and focus, use it to help you relax and switch off from the pressures of parenting. It's not a competition - you'll make mistakes, you'll get things right. Use a book like this to relax and unwind by gaining the confidence to sit back and question what you're doing - and then keep doing what you're doing right and find ways to change the situation if some things don't appear to be working. Don't panic! Think!


A must-read for all parents - not just ones with tearaways   November 30, 2005
 68 out of 68 found this review helpful

This book is great and a really easy and 'human' read. I would really recommend it as a great book for parents - and very easy to dip into for tips and insights. Tanya Byron's TV series is a real eye-opener for parents and she cuts through every parental excuse possible. This book gives you more practical and psychological information than the programmes. What I like about her approach is the fact that she never forgets that the children are individuals and that they need love and play and kindness as well as the strict guidelines that we all know about from Supernanny and other shows. We don't have any extreme behaviour problems with our children thank goodness - but even so I use her bedtime programme to the letter - and it's worked wonders. There are chapters on sleep, play, parenting skills and eating problems and bad behaviour too. I find the info about how parents behaviour affects kids really interesting and helpful. You know you're hearing it from a professional with a heart.